When you’re a mom, a daughter, an employee, a business owner, and an individual, it’s easy to get pulled in a million directions. And sometimes what’s a priority for one part of you conflicts with what’s a priority for another part of you. That was my life this week (and, if I’m honest, has been my life for a while now!).
This week felt like about three weeks rolled into one. And yet I still feel like I didn’t get much done. I was busy with set-up and break-down of Teacher Appreciation activities, which had me at Avery’s school a bit more than usual — and ate into some of my free time. I was trying to catch up and build a surplus of work-from-home hours for my day job. I received disappointing news and good news with my book business, which had me up and down and trying to reach out to people. I was getting the ball rolling with my grad school application. I was brainstorming and researching to figure out how to help Avery with his impulse control issues and his struggles with the divorce. And I was trying to stay on top of household tasks, while also working on cleaning up the library.
I could really use a day off. And, with this being Mother’s Day, I would have the perfect opportunity for one. But instead, since I don’t really know how to relax, I’ve decided to use today to work on the library. Not because I want to clean and organize, but because I have wanted this room for quite some time. And while the furniture we bought for it has been set up, way too much clutter has already invaded the room, and it’s a mess. This room, in my mind, is going to be a bit of a haven. Yes, I have to share it with the kids when they’re around, but when they’re in bed, I envision myself reading and writing and working in this room. But before that can happen, it has to be neat.
This morning I plan on working to clear up the clutter. Then I’m heading down to Ikea to pick up a few more bookshelves and a few more supplies. Tonight I’ll put the bookshelves together and, time permitting, I will start filling them up and putting things where I want them. I have ideas (don’t I always?), and I’m hoping they’ll work out as I imagine. The final piece of the puzzle — moving my chaise into the room — will unfortunately have to wait. I don’t have a clear path through which to move it! I have to clear up other areas of the house before I can move that piece of furniture. But if I can get everything else set up, I’ll be happy.
Will it all happen today? Probably not. But I’m going to do my best. And, once it’s complete, I’ll be able to check off one big thing from my goals this month. But that’s not the real goal. The most important thing is having a room where I can work, be with my kids, and just be myself. Who knows what will come from a room made for dreams?