I have always prided myself on my desire to help others. I’m not perfect, but I’ve tried to help when I could. Over the past year or so, however, my ability to help others has been dwindling. I haven’t had money to donate even a few groceries. I haven’t had the time or energy or mental capacity to help on a more personal note, easing burdens or pitching in. And now it looks like, instead, I’m the one who needs to be helped.
It’s no secret as to why this has happened. When Kevin moved out, our already-tight budget got impossibly stretched. And now, with more financial changes taking place as we make things official, that budget is ready to burst at any moment. So I’ve had little choice but to seek out assistance in the one place I never thought I would need: the department of social services.
I’m not ashamed. I’m a hard-working mama who just needs some help until I’m in more comfortable circumstances. And I know I will get there. But in the meantime I’ve qualified for state-supported health insurance (which is actually a pretty sweet plan, if I do say so myself – and all of our doctors accept it, so it was a no-brainer!). And I’m pursuing food stamps, though I’m still awaiting the answer on that one.
It’s not easy accepting handouts, especially when you’ve always been the one helping. But this is why the programs exist, and I am grateful for the help. I honestly don’t know how I would have afforded health insurance for myself after the divorce. And if I don’t have to worry about paying for groceries (even though I am an excellent shopper who doesn’t spend much anyway), that’s more money that can go toward the less-forgiving expenses, like keeping a roof over our heads.
While I use these benefits, I’m still chugging away, trying to get my business and websites going strong. I’m still putting in my hours at my day job. And I’m still searching for other ways to bring in income. I’m still hemming and hawing, trying to figure out the best course of action with some things, and putting in the effort with others, hoping something will pay off. (And something has to pay off, right?)
So, that being said, it’s time to move forward. My current project? Trying to use what I’ve got to bring in the income I need. I’m going to start putting things on eBay again (a project I let fall by the wayside after a few measly listings). And I’m going to finish reviewing what I have on hand, in my personal stash and my businesses’ inventory, to create baskets for Easter and beyond. I can’t spend much, if any, money on more inventory, so I need to get creative and maximize what I already have. It won’t be easy, but I’m up to the challenge.
I expect to have one vendor event coming up before Easter that will offer both books and baskets (and whatever else I want to bring). Whatever baskets I’m able to make will be brought to this event. But I think I’m also going to revive my sad and pathetic Creative Endeavors Facebook page so I can post everything I have available without making my personal page too sales-y. If you want to want to “like” the page and hold me accountable (and give me a little kick in the butt!), you can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/MyCreativeEndeavor/.
I have a few events coming up just with Usborne Books & More, so I’m hoping those will help, too. And I’m still working hard on getting my schools and libraries division up and running. I also have to update my available inventory in my Usborne Facebook group.
The only problem with these grand plans? They all take time. And that is something I’m still working on. I’ve been finagling with my weekly schedule to figure out how to fit it all in, but it’s definitely much easier said than done. And that’s assuming I stick to my plan! If I succumb to fatigue, or get attacked with illness or very grumpy children, everything tends to slip.
So the moral of this blog post? Time and money are not my friends. But I’m doing what I can with what I’ve got. And I suppose that’s all any of us can really do!