This Is Just a Test…I Hope

What a crazy week so far. And it’s not over yet! So far it’s been a mixed bag, too, so I’m not sure how to feel about it.

Wednesday was a nutty day. Working, picking up the kids, heading to Stafford to break down a book fair, then coming home for dinner and bedtime with the kids before gearing up for a Facebook party. The Facebook party was successful. But the vendor shopping night yesterday was most definitely not. I sold nothing. NOTHING. I have participated in many crappy shows, but I have never sold nothing. To the best of my knowledge, only one person picked up a catalog or business card, too, so I don’t even have much hope for future business. *sigh* I guess it’s bound to happen once in a while.

Tonight I get to finish wrapping up and packing items to sell for my show tomorrow. Yesterday I was selling books. Tomorrow I’m selling my gift baskets and crafts. I hope tomorrow is better than yesterday!

Amidst all the craziness, though, is reflection. Not much else to do when you’re sitting at a show waiting for stuff to happen! I really love Usborne Books, and I would love to do it full time. But so far my attempts at making anything from it have been less than successful. While I know I’m still waiting to be able to sell to schools and libraries, it would be nice to succeed doing the other stuff, too: parties and book fairs and vendor events. So far the Facebook party on Wednesday has been the only decent event (though I’m hopeful more orders will come in this weekend for the book fair). And, except for the 2 vendor events I have scheduled in December, I don’t have anything else planned.

I don’t mean to sound pessimistic. Normally I try to look at everything and stay positive. But if I were one to believe in signs (and, occasionally, I am), it looks like all the signs are pointing to this not being the right direction for me. And that stinks, because I think I could really enjoy it. This business is a combination of many of the things I’ve been looking for in a career: owning my own business, having a (kind of) book store, doing something I can be passionate about, helping other people. I can do it from home, with just the occasional outing, around my schedule. If successful, the pay could be decent and steady (commission is paid out every week, like a paycheck). So many others have been successful at it. Why can’t I?

I suppose I could also look at it as a trial period, as a test. Having my career not take off has forced me to look at different opportunities Usborne offers, different ways of getting customers and selling. Time I had penciled in for Usborne work has been used for paperwork, research, and brainstorming. I’ve been developing a new recruit kit that I think could be useful, not only for my (eventual) new recruits, but others’ recruits, as well. I plan on creating a series of graphics that could be helpful to not only me and my customers, but others’ customers, as well. In short, I’ve had to brainstorm and be creative and think outside the box, plus have an attention to detail and figure things out. Those are all things I like, too.

Career is always one category I’ve struggled with. Nothing sticks. If I can make this work, I think it could stick. But, obviously, I have work to do. To succeed I have to figure out what will work for me. I have to figure out where to throw my energy, how to spend my time. Maybe this is just a way of determining how badly I want it.

I’ve never been afraid of work, and I’m not afraid now. I will make this happen. I will.

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