A Little Buggy

OK, this is going to sound very strange, but I have a bug — a centipede — that has been popping up in my life periodically since shortly after college. It likely isn’t the same bug, but it sure looks like it, and I only see it around the time changes take place in my life (i.e. before a job change). I’d like to think it’s a little guardian angel — albeit in a strange form — looking out for me in times of upheaval. In reality, it’s probably just a type of bug I see once in a while and I’m applying greater meaning to it. Why?  Who knows?

The reason I bring it up is that I saw it yesterday at work. And, since I have decided the bug means change is coming, I’m curious as to what changes are in store. There are plenty to choose from: Kevin definitely losing his second job (though we’re not sure when), the start of my Usborne business, possible foster parenting, anything that could involve my books or business, our finances, the kids…the list goes on and on. Since the change is usually positive, I’m remaining hopeful. Maybe we’ll win the lottery! Though it isn’t usually so dramatic.

I know, I know, this sounds weird, even for me. Here I am talking about a bug on a blog that is about taking charge of my life and making changes. But I guess you can take it as a message. This bug is really just a symbol, a sign to myself that changes are in the works. Even if it’s all in my head, how I interpret something can be even more important than the symbol or sign itself. If I take it as an omen, perhaps I’ll take the steps necessary to make change happen. How many people believe in signs? How many people tell themselves “if I see this, then I’ll do this” or “if this happens, I’ll know I’m supposed to do this“? I’ve done it before, when I can’t make up my mind or I’m uncertain if I’m doing the right thing. It’s a way of making nature, God, fate, whatever you want to call it take the blame if things don’t work out. It’s a kick in the butt, an affirmation, motivation to do something.

So I saw this bug. What will change as a result? Probably whatever I want. I can decide. I can pick which endeavor I want to throw myself into, helping to determine its success.It is, after all, my life. And while yes, some things will happen to me that are out of my control, the vast majority of my life is a result of decisions I make, choices.

So which change should I take the leap with? Now there’s a tough decision. And no bug can make it for me. All I know is something is going to happen. But knowing me and my life, can anyone say they’re surprised?

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