I must admit: despite this being my favorite time of year, and despite having many things to be grateful for, I was feeling depressed. I was struggling with feeling and expressing joy over Christmas. Maybe it was from simply being overwhelmed by the to do list. Maybe it was struggling with Avery and his continued not listening (and the inevitable yelling that followed on all sides). Maybe (definitely) I was stressed from still not having my book order to sell — and having 3 vendor events coming up at which to sell these non-existent books. Maybe it just felt like nothing was working out, and I didn’t know what to do about it. All I knew was that I was close to tears at what should have been a happy, exciting, joyful time of year.
So what changed? Well, I took my own advice. I put on an inspirational holiday movie and wrapped some presents. I sent a plea, a prayer if you will, out into the world, hoping to get some relief. And it worked.
Shortly after the movie ended I received an e-mail saying my large book order had shipped — and tracking says it should make it here on Friday, the day of my next vendor event (cutting it close, but I’ll take it!). And a couple of customer orders have shipped, too. This morning an online sale that I hadn’t been able to take advantage of was extended, giving me more time to shop — and pick up some perfect, inexpensive gifts. And my brain, which had been stuck and unable to write yesterday, felt compelled to write. Motivation to tackle projects and to do lists has been renewed. I’m feeling a little more joyful. And a bit of the stress that had been suffocating me has dissipated. It’s not quite gone — but it’s definitely better.
At this time of year it’s so easy to get sucked into negative thinking. Crowds, traffic, budget restraints (or knowing you’ll be facing the inevitable bills in January), to do lists, tension, stress — it all compounds to turn you into a pessimistic, well, Scrooge. Bah humbug. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There’s still joy to be had.
I have decided to ramp up my holiday movie watching. Though I don’t have time to read holiday books, I have a bunch waiting for me in audio format on Hoopla, and it’s time I checked some out. I need to renew my enthusiasm. I need to get excited, and happy. This is the most wonderful time of year. And it’s about time it felt like it!